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Abdulazeez Abubakar
2 weeks ago
Overview
It was a bitter sweet experience I'd not advice any young man to engage in. It's a game and the only way to win, is to be the user .
I knew this already but unfortunately I was blind sided and disarmed by the love I had for her 13yr old child. The child was so bright. I tutored her in mathematics til she became the best. I saw a lonely bright child who took me as a father figure in her school.
I was so attached and one day I was opportune to meet with her mother. I met a very beautiful young woman in her early 30's the day she came to drop off her child at school. Prior to this, our chat engagement was official and all about her daughter's growth. She requested that I drop all formality and desist from caling her "ma" . She called me babe instead and We both became informal with time and got very close. There was constant calls and communication.
She told me alot about her past , her 4 exes and how she's been alone. It turns out she was always the victim in all her stories . She's so pretty , why would any man leave such a woman? I kept asking myself. She learnt about our 5yrs age difference which was shocking to her but she was already deep into it and ready to go down.
THE ROMANCE
We became sexually involved and things were going down fast. She had great sexual appetite . She wanted me to marry her and was fond of calling me her child's soon to be father and how we were gonna get married. She's a fashion designer who is financially stable.
CRISIS
She had sudden financial crisis after embarking on a huge project. To assist , I tutored the child for free and I was assisting her occasionally with finances cuz I had lesson gigs fetching me 6figures.
Soon, I started to realise her sudden change of attitude. The calls soon dropped and we started to have alot of unresolvable fights , reason being that she would rather not like to settle the conflict when I want to, but make it linger so I'd have to beg her even when she was wrong. She never likes to talk about the unresolved issues, so we could trash it amicably and make amends where necessary.
POINT OF REALISATION
I suspected she was sleeping around and one day I decided to pay her a visit . On that faithful day, I heard her elder sister over a loud phone conversation " Jane, u really have my time today that you didn't go to man's house"
". I cringed on hearing that . This is someone who said she doesn't sleep around because of the stereotype attached to being a single mom.
They both laughed about it and she told her sister that she was currently with a man. The sister said further " what of bros? He say he no do again or when he go engage u?
" .
This time I felt the ground should open up . "Bros" is an elderly man in his 50's who wants to marry her. We had a fight that night and she denied that she had anything to do with bros and her sis was joking about her visits to men. We trashed it and made up with sex.
Next morning she was on call with a male friend who wanted to borrow money from her and she called him babe.
Note that, she's called a different male friend babe accidentally too and she quickly defended that she calls all her male friends "babe" . I told her it wasn't cool. She got defensive and even called another male friend and she told him I was jealous, they both laughed and she ended the call with " I love you and he replied too". We had a fight . I left and still came back to check on her. I was ignored while she was on call with her male friend for 30mins after which she invited him over with 2 other guys.
I asked why and what for. She boldly told me "whatever activities I have with my friends is not your concern , even if we have 10some
" .
I was saddened because this was someone for once I was ready to risk it all to settle down with. She was probably entangled in something I never understood. I discovered that she clubbed on Sundays , and would never allow her daughter come live with her. The poor child has been living with her grandparents for 13yrs. My girlfriend also abused weed and alcohol. I saw all these in her fridge
THE PREGNANCY
I was broken by everything and kept my distance but we still spoke. Early this year, we both suspected she was pregnant since she missed her period. We did a test and I found out she was pregnant. 4weeks 8days but I doubted it was mine after all the recent discoveries. To cut the long story short she removed it and bled for days.
The disrespect and devaluation kept on going . I was mentally unstable for a while and took Ill. I couldn't resume to teach and I lost my job. My mother was angry with me for having anything to do with her.
I broke up with her cuz I realised what I had wasn't real. I realised I never did anything that bad to deserve all the treatments I received. I was supporting and loving and was even a father figure to her child .
I'm without a job now but I'll be commencing a technical training for a better job offer. I'm still unstable and hurt but I'll bounce.
I'm one of those guys who don't believe in playing nice because ive been hurt before. I broke my rules and was disarmed by the love I had for a child and I fell in love with a lie. But it's all good. I learnt my lesson.
https://www.nairaland.com/8607122/experience-dating-older-single-mother
